The Tangle of Me

Deep down inside there’s a guiding light. This light shines brightly whether I know it or not. The light is my essence and guide. It’s who I always have been and always will be.

I used to get a glimmer, a rush of light from inside. My mind liked to play a game of attributional error. My mind thinks it needs a reason to feel the light. My mind tends to look out to the world for a solution to find the light within!

It’s okay it’s what minds do. Just like a moth to the flame, an aspect of the mind has to surrender to the light if the light is to be fully known. I’m not talking about the functional aspects of the mind that knows where I live and how to tie a shoelace.

No, I’m talking about the tangle of me in the mind. The tangled programme that collects and runs beliefs, identities, patterns and outdated habits. It has tendrils running into the physical and energetic bodies.

The light is clear and free from this tangle. It allows, illuminates, and animates the tangle’s programmes – the light doesn’t make them wrong. But as you can imagine sometimes the tangle trips me up. Sometimes it binds me tight and like any good tangle when you think you’ve unknotted a clump, it reveals a new impenetrable tangle.

For years I’d forgotten about the light, and I didn’t know about the tangle – I thought the tangle was me. But repeatedly the light from within broke through, illuminating the beauty of life and my misidentification with the tangle.