Prison Walls

The spiritual search is not for the faint of heart.

There are days I wish I knew nothing about my deeper nature.

There are days I wish that life hadn’t pulled the curtain back, to reveal the Truth.

There are days that I wish I could go back, be normal, and pick my old life back up.

I know there is no freedom back there, only temporary relief.

Relief from the crumbling walls of my prison.

The walls were familiar to me.

I knew them, how to be inside of them – as small as possible.

I don’t know how they will fall as they crumble.

There is no stable ground for my human nature.

It feels endless, unsafe, overwhelming.

And yet there is still a movement towards those walls crumbling.

Even when it doesn’t make sense to pick at the edge of a brick or to dive into my deepest fear and kick through a whole section of the wall, I find myself doing it anyway.

There is no going back.

I can’t unsee.

My life is about ultimate liberation.

Those walls were never mine.

By Nicola Drew x